Financial Jokes and Anecdotes

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Economists Jokes

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
Laurence J. Peter

Ask five economists and you'll get five different answers (six if one went to Harvard).
Edgar R. Fiedler

Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.
John Kenneth Galbraith

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
Laurence J. Peter

A physicist, a chemist, and an economist are shipwrecked on a desert island with only a can of beans to eat and no way to open it.
The physicist makes a suggestion: "I can calculate just the right angle, mass, and velocity of a projectile that will knock the top off the can." 
"No!" the economist cries, "That might spill the beans." The chemist then says, "I can make a compound from some local plants that will eat through the tin and open the can." "Fool! That would contaminate the beans!" says the Economist.
Exasperated, the other two ask the economist if he has a plan. "Of course!" says the economist, "The solution is simple. First, we assume we have a can opener..."
G. Widdison

Copying an idea from an author is plagiarism.
Copying many ideas from many authors is research. 
Pasi Kuoppamäki's

A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.
The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?" The mathematician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four, exactly."
Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four."
Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?" 
An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy.

An econometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to guess wrong about the economy.

Bentley's second Law of Economics: The only thing more dangerous than an economist is an amateur economist!

Berta's Fundamental Law of Economic Rents: "The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist."

Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn't fire, but shouted in triumph, "We got it! We got it!" 

Economics is the painful elaboration of the obvious. 

An economist is someone who doesn't know what he's talking about - and make you feel it's your fault. 

A woman hears from her doctor that she has only half a year to live. The doctor advises her to marry an economist and to live in South Dakota. The woman asks: will this cure my illness? Answer of the doctor: No, but the half year will seem pretty long. 

I asked an economist for her phone number....and she gave me an estimate. 

Economists have forecasted 9 out of the last 5 recessions

An economist is someone who gets rich explaining others why they are poor.

"I'm thinking of leaving my husband," complained the economist's wife.
"All he ever does is stand at the end of the bed and tell me how good things are going to be." 

There are two things you are better off not watching in the making: sausages and econometric estimates.
Edward Leamer

On the first day God created the sun - so the Devil countered and created sunburn. On the second day God created sex. In response the Devil created marriage. On the third day God created an economist. This was a tough one for the Devil, but in the end and after a lot of thought he created a second economist!

An Economist is someone who didn't have enough personality to become an accountant. 

Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists. 

The First Law of Economists: For every economist, there exists an equal and opposite economist.
The Second Law of Economists: They're both wrong.

We have 2 classes of forecasters: Those who don't know . . . and those who don't know they don't know.
John Kenneth Galbraith

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
Laurence J. Peter 

How can you tell when an economist is lying?
His lips are moving. 

They say that Christopher Columbus was the first economist. When he left to discover America, he didn't know where he was going. When he got there he didn't know where he was. And it was all done on a government grant. 

Economics is the only field in which two people can share a Nobel Prize for saying opposing things."

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Stock Market   Economists   Statisticians    Murthy's Laws

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